ironical

Archive for the ‘funny’ Category

cause i……’m movin out

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(you know you wanna sing too)
duh duh duh daaaa da da da dop
duh duh duh daaaa da da da dop

Ok, that’s enough – come back from your Billy Joel sountracked trip down memory lane, and pay attention – I’m moving!

Don’t worry, it’s not out of my house or anything (although recent extended family time – and I mean that in both senses of the phrase – time with extended family, and extended time with family) could possibly bring both you and me to that logical conclusion. No, dear friends, I’m only moving in the most virtual of senses – out in the vast world of the internets.

You see, my husband, in his worldly wide webwise sort of way, gave me a Christmas present of my very own dotcom self – thedramatic.com. It’s very pretty and I like it a LOT.

The perfectionist, control-freak side of me (whatever do you mean? I hear you asking – I know, I hide that personality trait well behind the lateness and stacks of papers everywhere) wants to wait until I understand how to work all the bells and whistles and have everything set up the way I exactly the way I want it. Realistically, though, that may be sometime in the next century since at this point I can do NOT MUCH over there until Bryan helps out. And the explanations? Are mostly along the lines of if you can’t understand how to do this (whatever it is that I’m currently attempting), maybe you should get a free account at wordpress.com.

Really, that’s it. So I’ll be bugging Bryan to death for awhile. Like forever, probably. Good thing he’s used to it.

So – basically what all this means is that I have switched from wordpress.com hosted site, which is wonderful, and completely free, and which I would HIGHLY recommend to anyone who wants to try blogging out – to an independently hosted site powered by wordpress.

Just to give you an idea of my level of understanding – I had to ask Bryan how to write that last sentence. What it means to me is that I have lots more flexibility in how my site can look, and what it can do. Actually, it means that Bryan has much more flexibility, because I’m pretty sure that if I try to do anything other than post at this point, I will blow the whole thing up. Better get over there quick and have a look!

So – in closing – a few thoughts:

  • I’ve exported my whole blog over there, so if you suddenly feel the need to remember the beach or alternate uses of Windex, you can!
  • Please update your bookmarks, links, blogrolls (yes, I’m flattering myself on that one), etc…
  • Finally, get a Gravatar already, so I can see your little faces over there. C’mon, it’s free, it’s really easy, it’s free, they work EVERYWHERE, it’s free, you don’t have to have a blog to get one, and it’s free. Plus, it’s free!

Can’t wait to try it all out – see you soon!

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Written by Sarabeth :: the dramatic

January 2, 2008 at 11:24 pm

Posted in bryan, funny, life, writing

ho ho hum

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Maybe if I just put this out there, it will get out of my head and stay out.

I’m in no mood for Christmas.

There, I said it. I’m not looking forward to it. I’m actively dreading it. I’m walking around with the sense that it is a very tall building with lots of blinking neon lights that is about to fall over on me and kill me. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by Sarabeth :: the dramatic

November 20, 2007 at 12:11 am

Posted in family, funny, life

you could call it roadblog. or idrive.

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Man, am I ever glad I did not do this. Because I would be failing. Badly. And I hate to fail.

I really did think about it (which, by the way, you’ll hear me say often if you stick around. I like to think about doing things much more than I actually like doing them) but put off signing up until the very last minute (also a recurring theme in the life of me) and then realized on Oct. 31 that I was going camping the next day. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by Sarabeth :: the dramatic

November 10, 2007 at 11:26 pm

Posted in family, friends, funny, life

it has many uses

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A typical school morning at the Jones’ house: the kids are eating breakfast, I’m fixing lunches, Bryan notices Will’s wild hair and begins spraying it. We keep a bottle filled with water for just that purpose.

Elizabeth says: “Dad, why are you spraying Will’s hair with Windex?”

Good question.

Like I said – typical. Except for a little extra shine on top…

Written by Sarabeth :: the dramatic

October 25, 2007 at 10:04 am

a note about my mental state

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Well, at least my mental state as it relates to the internet situation in my house. I don’t want to overwhelm you or anything. So, just to clarify:

Some of you might take the fact that I posted yesterday (for the first time in a month) as a sign that our current cable internet issues are behind us. A logical thought, given that we live in a world where things like this generally happen quickly, as long as you are willing to stay in your house for the better part of the day awaiting the magical visit of your handy cable repairman. Sadly, though, this is not the case. The five little green lights are still not blinking. One, on the end, stares at me forlornly, like it’s giving me a tiny green evil eye. For a month. Nothing. Has. Changed.

Although I do have this exciting news to report: we have been moved up to a 7 day ticket!

Which means what, exactly? Well, I don’t really know. But since that news broke last Friday, we’re hoping that it means we will be fixed by the end of this week. Keep your fingers crossed!

Now, I’m sure you have questions. I will try to anticipate and answer them here.

  1. Why haven’t you dumped them? What are you waiting for? Are you just that lazy/willing to be taken advantage of? Technically, that’s three questions, but I’m feeling generous. We have not dumped our cable people yet because we have always been happy with them up until now. Their service people came out promptly to our house, but apparently the problem resides elsewhere (we’ll come back to this in question #3). Also, our decision is possibly affected by the fact that for the last couple of years we’ve somehow been granted access to a few more tv channels than we’re actually paying for, per se. Let’s just say we really don’t want anything to interfere with Season 4 of Project Runway. Perhaps this month long break from our home internet is really some kind of cosmic payback. And yes, we are pretty darn lazy.
  2. So why/how are you blogging now, when you’ve let it go for that long? Well, like I said, laziness is a factor. But things are getting desperate, people. Rumors of kidnapping and boycotting abound. Others around me feel compelled to share stories of their own cable mishaps. I can’t take it anymore. So, on Tuesday morning, I skipped my wonderful free yoga class, came to work instead, and blogged. And didn’t count it as work. I think the fact that I gave up both free stretching and getting paid says everything you need to know about my current mentality. And surely the world is a better place for me sharing that mentality with you.
  3. Do you really think I could possibly have any more questions about your internet? Well, I do think it’s polite to at least pretend to show some interest. But in lieu of further questions, I will just offer you some free advice. Whenever the cable guy comes to your house and apologizes, be afraid. When he says the problem is not at your house, and then begins to utter random phrases like “down the line,” “maintenance department,” “we really have no control,” and “I’ve turned in a ticket,” be very afraid. Because you don’t know what those words mean right now, but I do. It means you will have no internet for a very, very long time.

Written by Sarabeth :: the dramatic

October 10, 2007 at 6:07 pm

trailer park yoga

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I went to my very first yoga class today, with my friend who is a teeny bit of a fanatic about it. She’s very convincing about things – she got me to try some salad with barley in it once – and after reading about her adventures in Colorado yogaland, I was ready to try it.

In the interest of honesty I should tell you that I had a bit of a chip on my shoulder to start with. This yoga class – which is offered free, twice a week – takes place at a church here in town. Not the church I work at. Not a church I could see myself going to anytime soon. There’s a huge church in a neighboring town that Bryan likes to refer to as Six Flags Over Jesus, and while this particular church isn’t quite as large as that church, it could easily be the Dollywood of the local church scene. We get cards from them every so often, inviting us to a Christmas extravaganza or an Easter spectacle, usually involving a dramatic production paired with a carnival type thing going on outside, complete with rides and XBox giveaways.

It’s – how do I say – a little too WalMart Supercenter for me.

All this profound opinionatedness is based solely on those sporadic postcards, and my keen observations on the two times I had been inside the building, both times for community events that the church had hosted. Their building was bigger than ours, and they obviously had a lot more money to spend on all the things that go inside it than we do.

Not that I’ve thought about it a whole lot. Really.

Anyway, I go into class and as it turns out, the instructor is really nice. Really really nice. Nice enough that you sorta don’t even hate her for being really tall and skinny and pretty (that’s NOT all yoga. Some things just have to be chalked up to great genetics).

And perky. About every minute and a half, she would say my name in class, in a very cheery way, just to make sure I was getting it. The first time she said it – Sarabeth! – she scared me and I kind of fell over. Except that I was already on the ground.

This became a pattern. Sarabeth! we are going to start with a side stretch…Sarabeth! don’t worry if you fall off your bench, we all have…Sarabeth! you may actually die while attempting this next series…

Perky, very perky. And also very kind. She would say things like, that’s ok, just do what you can and beautiful, you’re doing great and you are enjoying this stretch of your lower back / quad muscle / insert any random body part here. These types of encouragements (or, let’s face it, flat out lies) are needed when you feel as though your body is about to betray you by throwing you face first onto the floor.

By the time we were done, I really liked her and I liked the class – this person who was a member of the superficial supercenter church. The same church which allowed us to use their room and yoga mats, blankets, blocks, benches, and bolsters. For free. That’s right, the church bought all that equipment so that this woman could teach her classes to people like me.

In related news, this evening I went to pick up my own new-to-me yoga mat from a fellow freecycler whose husband wasn’t using it anymore. I drove out to get it and ended up in the trailer park where they live.

Really? I thought. Yoga enthusiast lives in a trailer park? I would have never put those two things together.

It’s embarrassing, really, when I run up against these prejudices. Twice in one day – on both ends of the spectrum – my narrow view of the world, of trailer parks, of big flashy churches – got called out of hiding. These are not things I think about with my logical self, they are ugly, petty, jealous, prideful things that lurk in the corners of my heart. And they’re wrong. It’s not like I enjoy admitting this stuff, but my hope is – always – that if I can say this stuff out loud, pin it down on a page, that it won’t be inside me as much anymore.

Or any of us.

Written by Sarabeth :: the dramatic

September 4, 2007 at 11:20 pm

Posted in church, funny, healthy, life

almost famous

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Our latest Baylor Magazine came last week with a picture of Angela Kinsey on the cover.

Yes, we knew she was a fellow alum. Yes, we are freaks about The Office. Yes, we were so very excited.

And stunned. For right there on the cover it says that Angela is a 1994 grad. Which would place her directly between Bryan and me. She was there at the same time as we were. She was a Chi Omega. And we never knew her.

Baylor is big – 12,000 undergrads (I think…and I’m really too lazy to look it up…shame on me, I used to actually recruit for Mecca on the Brazos, I should know those facts like my own children’s birthdays…) but seriously, I thought I knew every Chi Omega there. Or at least the ones who were my age. I mean, I did work for Flash. I had to have taken her picture, the odds are just too high.

Even discounting that, though, wouldn’t you think that someone who has gone on to be a part of a hit TV show would have somehow crossed my radar during the 4 years I went to school and 2 years I worked there? Apparently not.

Speaking of working there, have I ever told you about recruiting at Baylor? There are definitely some peculiarities involved in being employed by the largest Baptist university IN THE WORLD (hey, now there’s a fact I remember! They really like that one). Another day, perhaps.

But not today. Because today is the day that I cannot believe that I don’t know Angela Kinsey.

So close, and yet so far…

Written by Sarabeth :: the dramatic

September 3, 2007 at 10:34 pm

Posted in acting, funny, life